Getting Raw with Y'all

Getting Raw with Y'all

I know you've heard it before, but this life is meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes it's really, really hard and that's okay. 

My Background

Ladies, I don't want any of you to ever feel like you're alone in your feelings. I'll start by giving you a little background into my life. I was just a small town simple girl who wanted a better life for herself and who wanted to do things the "right" way. At 20 and single, I had my first daughter. I didn't want to be a statistic- I wanted to be a successful adult and parent. I was the hardest on myself - my own biggest critic. So, I went to college and became a teacher. I loved working with children, loved teaching and watching children grow. Plus teaching allowed me to maximize my time at home with my daughter. 

As time goes on, I get married and have 3 more children. I thought this was the life I wanted. I had a husband and four precious babies. What more could a girl want. We are conditioned to this picture of a life as we grow up. But it turned into keeping up with the Jones' like I am sure many of you have done. We are all guilty of it from time to time. We bought the staple house, had 2 cars, a dog and everything we wanted, right?

Then why wasn't I happy? I was teaching 3rd graders and loved it; it's a dream job. I was coming home and trying to balance work & life while raising my children and putting on the front that things were perfect at home.  When in reality, something was wrong with me, my marriage and my happiness. I was only surviving. We've all been here. Survival mode does not allow you to enjoy your life in the moment. Survival mode is overwhelming, it means you're having those stand in the shower and cry kind of mornings. Those how do I go on days. These were really hard times and extremely lonely.  

Life is meant to be enjoyed and the life I was building was not pleasurable. I was struggling every single minute. Jobs were being placed upon me, not shared. The financial stress and obligations became overwhelming. My career became more and more demanding and political - but we won't even dive into that right now. Eventually, my marriage ended and things began to snowball. For 8 years, I struggled to find my happiness and my why in life. 

Why do you do what you do? Not just in your career, but in your home life...why are you doing it? You should be doing what brings you happiness.  I struggled to find my happiness and I believe so many of us go through these times. This small town simple girl never realized that what she was doing always mattered. I have always been afraid of hard things (struggling alone and in silence) because I never asked for help, which I desperately needed. I just continued to deal with all these things and could not learn to be where my feet were. I couldn't enjoy the moment in the moment. My mind was always racing and looking ahead, what needed to be done next, trying to prevent failures, trying to be everything for everyone but myself. You know this feeling, don't you?

Starting My Small Business

Finally, I decided I had to come first for my mental stability. I had to create an outlet for myself. I had to find a hobby, start exercising, OR do something just for me. So I opened a small business. Oh my gosh, it was hard! No one paved this path for me, but me! This was exactly what I needed and this made me accountable in every aspect I can think of. Honestly, it was my self-care and to my surprise, I found my happiness. No one helped me learn or build my dream but myself, and that's exactly what I needed. I wanted this and I aimed and continued to aim high with my dream. My goal was to help other women. I wish I could prevent any other woman from feeling that internal struggle, the way that I did. I really don't want any woman to feel so alone and as if no one really cares about them. I want to be that person in your ear pushing, supporting and encouraging you every step of the way. And, my business allowed me to do this. I began to encourage other women and in return, my life has been blessed. 

Our Three Winks was never about money or a get rich scheme. Money can do great things and we can't live without it. I love money but this wasn't about money at all. Our Three Winks brings me true happiness. It is self-care. It is giving back to other women and helping women to feel less isolated. I know what it is like to put on that facade and pretend your life is perfect or just the way you always wanted it to be. 

Ladies, you have got to find your why in your life. Why are you doing what you do? Why are you living the way you are? Why are you working at your job? Don't be afraid of hard like I was. Don't be afraid to make a change and start over. What you're doing right now matters. It can be scary, trust me, but it can also be the best decision you make. The path is paved for you! You just have to make a change. Connect to your heart and ask yourself those hard questions. 

Although all that was so much longer than I expected, I think you needed to hear it as much as I needed to share it.  I know you understand because I truly believe more women live in this mind frame than they want to admit. Change is hard and scary.

Finding Your Why

Finding the real meaning in your life, can also be difficult. But it's there. You're not alone. And finding it, will provide you clarity and a life of passion. It keeps you focused on your goals and helps you live a healthier life. You learn to develop resilience and live your life with integrity. You find your happiness. 

So where should you start? You need to connect with your heart, as I said above and do some self-discovery - ask yourself tough questions and answer them honestly!

Here's where I get to help you -- help yourself & find happiness.

It would be a good idea to write these out in a journal or a safe place for yourself but each question and activity is designed to help you uncover your life's purpose -- your why. Take your time, look over them again and again. Refresh your thoughts. Add to them and make them personal! 

1. Self-awareness: Identify the things you do or can do that make other people's lives better.

2. Think back about all the activities you've done that made you forget about the passage of time. 

3. Recall what you did as a kid that you enjoyed. What was your happiest memory of your childhood. 

4. Observe what others come to you for when they need help.

5. Imagine what you would do if you knew you only had a short time to live. 

6. What tasks (at home or work) would you do for free if you didn't need a paycheck? Start thinking, do you work to live or do you live to work?

7. Observe how people find value in you.

8. If you were able to do something you love and not worry about a paycheck, what would it be?


Wrapping Up

You need to look within yourself and be completely honest. I want you to be able to discover those things you are most passionate about and pursue them! Don't let others doubt slow you down or set you back. Your own "why" will point the way to your success. Success looks different for everyone, but if you hear nothing else, please hear this -- Life is meant to be enjoyed! Live where your feet are!


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